Sunday, December 31, 2017

A fresh start

2017 has been my favourite year yet.

We started January living in a two bed apartment in Manchester and really hoping our house sale would complete sometime soon. We celebrated G’s birthday with a trip to Llandudno and meals out. Soon it was February, moving day and then we had all of our friends round to celebrate my birthday. We were living in our beautiful four bed house in the countryside and feeling more at home than ever after just one month. 

Spring then hit and the days were getting longer, air getting warmer. Flowers were bursting from the ground everywhere and I fell in love with the hills and views even more. Oscar was turning into a grown up little boy and our days were spent exploring our new town, climbing hills and spotting sheep. G and I became obsessed with gardening and we’d sit out on the hammock in the evenings as the sun was setting, roasting marshmallows on the fire. 

House projects were well under way and before we knew it, summer had arrived. We went on family trips to the seaside, visited friends, went to a concert as a two. I relaunched my jewellery business and really got back into my photography. We went on our annual holiday to Cornwall and reunited with all of our friends. One night on the beach as the sun was setting, G got down on one knee and asked me if I’d marry him. It was one of the most perfect moments of my life. 

After that we had a summer housewarming BBQ, trips to the caravan in the lakes and a few stresses about work in between. Autumn had arrived and everywhere was painted in orange and yellow leaves. We booked our wedding venue for the second following Autumn and hunted for conkers. We went pumpkin picking, carved said pumpkins, dressed Oscar as a bat for Halloween and then had a mini party for Bonfire night complete with corned beef hash, fireworks and a roaring fire. 

The Christmas lists started and like a click of the fingers December had arrived. We excitedly put the Christmas trees up and decorated all of our new space. Oscar became obsessed with spotting ‘twinkles’ as we drove around in the dark and he really started to understand the excitement of Christmas and Santa. We went back to Manchester to visit Dunham Massey’s light show and paid £8.00 for two tiny hot chocolates (scandal). The short, dark days were spent drinking hot chocolate and watching Christmas movie after Christmas movie. Soon it was Christmas eve and we sprinkled reindeer dust outside, decorated a gingerbread house, painted baubles, drank hot chocolates, watched Polar Express and had our annual pizza making tradition. 

On Christmas Day morning Oscar was frightened at Santa’s (talc) footprints and refused to come in the living room. He had a high temp and was really under the weather but we visited family, had bacon butties and then hosted our first Christmas dinner with our own cooked turkey (which was a success hoorah!). In the evening as the kids went to bed, we played games, ate cheese and biscuits and drank cocktails. The Christmas limbo has been fully soaked up binging on Netflix and eating as much food as possible and here we are, New Years Eve. 

The start of a new year tomorrow. People may find it cliché to say “New year, new me” but there really is no better time to draw a line and restart. It’s like time restarts, we get to do it all again. We get a fresh January, a fresh February, a fresh March and so on. We get another Spring, another Summer, another Autumn and another Winter. Everything is new. 

I know the New Year really gives me some new, fresh motivation. I’m feeling more ‘arse in gear’ than ever before and I’ve set myself some goals to really work hard at. I’m not putting too much pressure on myself with my goals because I know that’s what makes me fail them, but I want to look back in January 2019 and know that I tried hard. If not now, when? So onto my goals…

My main goal is to really find myself again. To lose 3 stone in weight and become healthy and happy in my body again. To not feel sluggish or embarrassed for Oscar having an overweight mum who gets out of breath just running up the small hill to the nursery doors (struggles!). To take more care, paint my nails more, look after my skin more, make more effort with clothes. 

My second goal is to get back into my hobbies. To leave the house more with my camera in one hand and tripod in the other. To take more self portraits and not be afraid of not being pretty enough. To use photoshop more and really put my alone time to good use. To be more creative and actually do the things I daydream about, including my blog and writing.

My third goal is to work more on my career goals, to build my business and really start earning. Or at least a step in that direction. 

Lastly my fourth goals is to try and overcome my anxiety even more. I’ve come such a long way since my dark days five years ago but there’s still so much further to go. To try harder at leaving the house and entering the situations my minds afraid of. Knowing that things always seem so much worse in my head than they actually are in real life. To give Oscar an even better life and not let my thoughts stop us from doing things. To love G more and not be that annoying girlfriend who won’t go into the shop alone in fear of a made up situation swimming around my head.

Overall I want 2018 to be just as amazing as 2017. I’m so proud of myself and my little family and I know we have so many more memories waiting to be made. I wish you all health and happiness for the New Year and I hope you all achieve your goals, no matter how big or small! L x


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